People often assume being taken seriously is about titles, seniority, or confidence.
In reality, it’s usually decided before you finish your first sentence.
I’ve spent more than two decades working in public relations and strategic communication, sitting in rooms where decisions were made about people who weren’t present. I’ve seen how fast credibility forms, and how quietly it disappears.
What surprises most people is this: It’s rarely the big things that tip the scale. It’s tiny behaviors – often unconscious – that signal authority, clarity, and self-respect.
Here are seven of them.
1. You let silence do some of the work
Silence makes many people uncomfortable.
That’s exactly why it works.
In my experience, people who are taken seriously don’t rush to fill every gap. They allow silence to sit – especially after making a point.
Silence triggers reflection. It subtly shifts conversational control toward you.
Moreover, silence shows you think before you respond – and it also shows you were paying attention to the person you are talking to. It is, in fact, one of the behaviours that make other people trust you.
Example:
Make your point.
Stop talking.
Let the other person respond.
2. You don’t over-explain when no one asked you to
Over-explaining is usually driven by good intentions – clarity, helpfulness, politeness. (As I mentioned in previous articles, I used to do this too.)
But socially, it can signal self-doubt.
I’ve noticed that people who are taken seriously tend to explain just enough – and then stop.
According to social perception research, brevity is often interpreted as confidence and expertise. People assume you could say more – you just don’t need to.
Example:
Instead of:
“I chose this approach because there were several alternatives and I considered X, Y, and Z…”
Try:
“I chose this approach because it solves the core problem.”
You can always expand if asked.
In fact, the famous keep it short and simple (I know, it was KISS – Keep it Simple Stupid – a principle coined by Kelly Johnson in the ‘1960’s) is one of the rules in many situations. It is also a perfect way to say no to things you do not want to do – and set powerful boundaries – I wrote an extensive article here: Stop Saying Yes to Things You Don’t Want to Do – These 7 Phrases Make It Easy to Say No Without the Guilt or Drama.
3. You separate facts from feelings when you speak
One of the fastest ways to lose authority in a conversation is to blur facts with emotional commentary.
I’ve noticed this again and again in professional settings: people who are taken seriously don’t hide their emotions – but they don’t lead with them either. They make it clear what is objectively happening before they describe how they feel about it.
This matters because the moment feelings are presented as facts, the conversation shifts. It becomes personal, harder to evaluate, and easier to dismiss.
What this looks like in practice
Instead of saying:
“I’m frustrated because this process is chaotic and doesn’t work.”
Say:
“This process has three approval steps and consistently delays delivery by two weeks.”
You can always add:
“That’s why I find it frustrating.”
But notice the order.
Facts first. Feelings second.
Why this changes how people respond to you
When you separate facts from feelings, you signal clarity, self-control, and leadership maturity. Others can assess the situation without feeling pressured to validate your emotional state first.
In fact, research in organizational psychology shows that leaders who present information objectively before expressing emotion are perceived as more competent and more credible in decision-making contexts.
4. The “No-Complaining” Rule
High-value people don’t lead with grievances.
They lead with solutions.
Over the years, I’ve noticed a consistent pattern in how people are taken seriously in professional settings: the ones who gain respect fastest are not the ones who point out everything that’s wrong – they’re the ones who show they can do something about it.
That doesn’t mean ignoring problems or pretending everything is fine. It means how you raise them.
Complaining without direction quietly signals helplessness.
Framing an issue with a possible fix signals agency and control.
I’ve seen this play out many times in meetings. Two people describe the same problem. One sounds like a victim of circumstances. The other sounds like someone who belongs at the decision table. The difference isn’t seniority – it’s framing.
What this looks like in practice
Instead of saying:
“This process is a mess and nothing ever gets approved on time.”
Say:
“This process is slowing approvals. One way to fix it would be to reduce the number of sign-offs.”
Same issue. Completely different impact.
Or instead of:
“We keep missing deadlines because communication is bad.”
Try:
“We’re missing deadlines. I think clearer ownership at the start would prevent that.”
You’re not minimizing the problem. You’re owning it.
People who frame challenges in solution-oriented terms are seen as more competent, more powerful, and more worthy of influence.
From a communication standpoint, constant complaining damages reputation faster than almost anything else. It positions you as reactive rather than strategic. And, sometimes, as a victim, not as a solution-finder.
Problems are inevitable — helplessness is not.
The people who are taken seriously understand this instinctively:
- They don’t (over) dramatize issues
- They don’t outsource responsibility
- They don’t bond over frustration
- They move the conversation forward.
You may ask yourself this before complaining:
What would I suggest if this were my responsibility to fix?
This is not about never saying what does not work. It is also not about thinking that everything is ok. It is a mindset – that there is a solution – and this is, actually, part of a series of mindset shifts that I changed myself (and that I recommend) and that are bringing great results, both professionally and personally.
5. You stay focused on outcomes, not theatrics
In decision rooms, seriousness is rarely about who speaks the most or who tells the most compelling story (yes, storytelling is important, but it is only a part of success/communication). It’s about who keeps the conversation anchored to what needs to happen next.
I’ve seen this distinction play out countless times. Two people describe the same situation. One leans ONLY into the drama – how hard it was, how frustrating it felt, how many obstacles they faced. The other acknowledges the struggle, but focuses on outcomes: what the goal is, what’s blocking it, and what would move things forward.
Only one of them is taken seriously.
So, instead of saying:
“This has been incredibly difficult; everyone is exhausted, and morale is low.”
Say:
“The workload has been intense, and it’s showing. The main constraint right now is capacity. If we adjust priorities for the next two weeks, we can stabilize delivery.”
Theatrics alone – emotional storytelling, dramatizing obstacles, signaling how hard something is – may generate sympathy, but they rarely generate influence.
Again: you may tell a story, present the situation, but you should also suggest what needs to change to move forward.
6. You don’t correct people on small, irrelevant mistakes
People who nitpick details (wording, minor facts, phrasing) may signal insecurity – even when they’re technically right. Sometimes, a small correction (wording/phrasing) of something that is not vital for the topic can make others uncomfortable – even because that correction distracts them from the topic itself.
People who are taken seriously let small inaccuracies pass unless they change the outcome.
I’ve seen this play out countless times in meetings: the person who interrupts to “clarify” a trivial detail loses authority, while the person who stays focused on the point gains it.
For example, if someone says:
“This campaign launched in May.”
…and you know it was June – but it doesn’t matter for the decision – you let it go. You have to know what details are relevant and which are not, and focus on those that matter.
7. You don’t react publicly before you’ve assessed privately
One of the clearest signs of authority is restraint – especially when something unexpected, frustrating, or emotionally charged happens.
People who are taken seriously don’t rush to be seen reacting. They take time to understand what’s actually going on before they say anything out loud.
This isn’t about hiding emotion or pretending not to care. It’s about getting oriented first.
They assess.
Then they decide how — or whether — to respond.
What this looks like in practice
Instead of immediately commenting, explaining, or defending, they pause and ask a few quiet questions:
- What actually happened?
- What’s confirmed, and what’s still an assumption?
- Who else needs to be heard before anything is said?
- What would speaking now change – and what might it complicate?
Very often, that assessment happens in private. They speak to different people involved, listen to more than one version of events, and make sure they understand the broader context before taking a position.
Only after that do they decide if a response is necessary – and what it should achieve.
I’ve seen situations shift simply because someone resisted the urge to fill the space with an immediate reaction. Not because they were passive, but because they were deliberate.
That pause doesn’t make you look uncertain.
It makes you look in control.
Bonus: Keep Your Hands Visible
There’s a reason experienced communicators pay attention to this.
When people can’t see your hands – hidden under the table, in pockets, or folded tightly – others subconsciously feel less at ease. Visibility signals openness, predictability, and honesty.
From an evolutionary standpoint, visible hands signal “no threat.” Modern social psychology still responds to this cue.
What you can do:
- Hands resting naturally on the table
- Minimal, controlled gestures
- No clenched fists, no hiding
It’s a small adjustment – but people notice it instantly, even if they can’t explain why.
A little bit about seriousness
Being taken seriously isn’t about being louder, more confident, or more impressive.
It’s about how you handle various types of moments and situations.
What all these behaviors have in common is restraint – not silence, not passivity, but intentional control. Control over timing. Over framing. Over what deserves attention and what doesn’t.
That’s why they work instantly.
You don’t need to adopt all seven at once. Even becoming aware of one or two will change how people respond to you, often before you say anything at all.
And once you notice these behaviors, you’ll start seeing them everywhere, especially in people who seem to carry authority effortlessly.
Photo source: Pexels.
