What You Say After a Compliment Can Make People Like You Less – New Research Found

I love receiving compliments, and I love making sincere compliments too. But I didn’t always know what to say when someone complimented me.

I’m not getting into the psychology of feeling worthy of praise here. I’m talking about the reply itself – those few seconds after someone tells you that you did something well, that they like something about you, or that they’re impressed by something you’ve accomplished.

I’ve gotten better at it over the years. Two days ago, I was talking on the phone with a friend about a compliment she’d received from someone she hadn’t seen in a very long time. What surprised her wasn’t only the compliment. This person hadn’t really complimented her in the past, so my friend hesitated for a few seconds before answering.

I could understand that. A compliment can catch you off guard for all sorts of reasons. And when it does, it’s easy to fall back on one of those automatic answers:

“Oh, it was nothing.”

“I just got lucky.”

“This old thing?”

“No, I actually look terrible today.”

Many of us have absorbed unspoken social rules about being modest, not bragging, and not appearing too pleased with ourselves. Deflecting a compliment can feel like the safe option.

Research published in 2026 suggests the person giving the compliment may see that response very differently. As a communication expert, I couldn’t ignore such a study!

Another finding I found even more interesting: saying a polite “thank you” isn’t the only response that leaves a good impression. Because I looked deeper and found a few interesting studies and different findings and angles, I am sharing them all below, including how to accept a compliment, when complimenting someone back can sound less sincere, and more.

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What Does It Mean to Deflect a Compliment?

Deflecting a compliment means minimizing, redirecting, explaining away, or dismissing the praise instead of simply accepting it.

Someone says, “You did a great job with that presentation,” and you answer, “Oh, anyone could have done it.”

A friend tells you, “You look great,” and your first response is, “No, I don’t. I barely slept.”

Your manager praises something you did and you immediately say, “It wasn’t really me. The others did most of it.”

There’s a difference between accepting praise, deflecting it, and sharing credit.

“Thank you. I really appreciate that” accepts the compliment.

“It was nothing” minimizes it.

“No, you’re wrong. It was terrible” rejects it.

“Thank you. I’m really pleased with how it turned out, and Sarah did fantastic work on it too” accepts the compliment while giving someone else credit.

As you can see, you don’t need to be worried that accepting praise means taking all the credit when you’re supposed to share the credit.

Researchers Tested What Happens When People Deflect Compliments

In a paper published online on July 17, 2026, Emily Prinsloo of Rice University and Alice Moon of Georgetown University examined how people react when someone accepts a compliment versus deflecting it.

The research included four preregistered studies with 2,056 adults, both online and in the lab. The researchers looked at recalled real-life interactions as well as controlled scenarios.

People who deflected compliments were consistently rated as less warm, less competent, and less likable than people who accepted them.

The researchers then looked at whether those impressions could influence what someone actually chose to do.

In the fourth study, participants were less likely to choose a person who had deflected a compliment as a future work partner.

I think that this is an interesting finding and a much bigger consequence than a few seconds of conversational awkwardness. It’s also worth remembering in professional situations, where many people already soften what they say without realizing it. The same habit can appear in other forms too, which is why seemingly minor changes in wording can affect how confident you sound when you speak.

Does Deflecting a Compliment Make You Look More Humble?

This was the question I immediately had when I read the research.

If people give up a little warmth or competence by brushing away praise, perhaps they gain something else: they look more humble.

The studies didn’t show a consistent advantage there.

Across the four studies, deflecting had mixed effects on perceived humility. Depending on the study, people who deflected were seen as more humble, less humble, or no different from people who accepted the compliment.

The results for warmth, competence, and likability were much more consistent: deflectors scored lower. So saying “I just got lucky” or “anyone could have done it” doesn’t reliably produce the modest impression you may have been aiming for.

You also don’t have to swing to the opposite extreme. Accepting “That was a great presentation” doesn’t require a long explanation of how much work you put into it, why you deserved the praise, and everything you did better than everyone else. Quite often, one sentence is enough. And if you tend to accept a compliment and then keep talking until you’ve almost argued your way out of it again, that’s close to another communication habit: over-explaining something that was already clear.

Why Can Deflecting Change the Way the Other Person Sees You?

The researchers also investigated why accepting and deflecting produced different impressions and they found that people giving the compliment saw deflectors as less aligned with the positive view they’d just expressed. The researchers call this lower relational receptivity.

Put yourself on the other side of the conversation for a moment.

You tell someone, “You handled that situation really well.”

They answer, “No, I didn’t. I was awful.”

You now have a slightly unusual interaction on your hands. You said something positive because you meant it, and the other person has immediately contradicted your judgment.

The compliment wasn’t only information about them. It was also something you chose to say. That helps explain why accepting praise can affect warmth as well as competence: the exchange involves the relationship between two people, not only one person’s confidence. Being responsive to what another person actually says is also part of how trust develops between people. You don’t need to agree with every opinion someone has about you, but immediately batting away a positive comment changes the conversation they were trying to have.

So What Should You Say When Someone Compliments You?

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The simplest option is still one of the best:

“Thank you.”

You can make it a little warmer:

“Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

Or acknowledge the effort behind whatever they noticed:

“Thank you. I put a lot of work into it, so I’m glad you liked it.”

If it’s about a skill:

“Thanks. I’ve been working on that for a while.”

If someone compliments something you made:

“Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

The useful difference is that the second part adds information without cancelling the first.

Compare “Thank you. I’ve been practicing a lot” with “Thank you, but honestly I just got lucky.”

One accepts the praise and adds context. The other accepts it for a moment and then takes it back.

Is Saying “Thank You” Enough?

Yes. You don’t need to add anything.

But another 2026 study tested something people often do after receiving praise: they compliment the other person back.

Researchers Xin Zhou, Michelle E. Daniels, and Adriana Samper compared reciprocal compliments with a simple expression of appreciation in four preregistered experiments.

The people who returned a compliment were viewed more favorably than those who responded only with appreciation.

The researchers found that reciprocal compliments signaled rapport.

I liked this finding because giving sincere compliments comes naturally to me. If I notice that someone did something well or is wearing something I genuinely like, I’m happy to tell them.

Still, I wouldn’t want every compliment to turn into:

“I like your jacket.”

“Thanks, I like your shoes.”

“Thanks, I like your bag.”

At some point it starts sounding less like a conversation and more like an exchange neither person knows how to end.

The study found something relevant here too.

Why Complimenting Someone Back Can Sound Less Sincere

Although reciprocal compliments improved overall impressions, they were also perceived as less honest than simple appreciation.

That’s easy to recognize in real life. If someone compliments you and you instantly produce a generic compliment in return, they may wonder whether you actually meant it or simply felt obligated to say something nice.

In the experiments, the benefit from greater rapport outweighed that downside overall.

So when you genuinely have something complimentary to say, there’s no reason to hold it back simply because they happened to praise you first.

“Thank you. And I really liked the way you explained your idea in the meeting.”

Or:

“Thanks! I was actually going to tell you that color looks great on you.”

If nothing sincere comes to mind, you don’t need to manufacture something.

“Thank you. That’s really kind of you.” is enough.

The study also found that the positive effect reversed when returning the compliment led to social harm. Context still has a say in how any response lands.

How to Share Credit Without Rejecting Your Own Compliment

This is one of the easiest places to deflect without intending to.

Your manager says, “You did a great job leading this project.”

You know how much the rest of the team contributed, so you reply:

“I didn’t really do much. The team did everything.”

You meant to recognize other people. You also told your manager that their compliment was badly aimed.

You can keep both parts:

“Thank you. I’m really proud of what we did. Alex and Maya contributed so much to the final result too.”

Or:

“Thank you. It was a real team effort, and I’m very happy with how it turned out.”

You haven’t claimed sole responsibility. You also haven’t erased yourself from the achievement.

The same approach works outside the office. If someone compliments a dinner you made, you can say, “Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it. David helped me with the dessert,” without replying, “Oh, I barely did anything.”

How to Respond to a Compliment at Work

Work compliments can feel harder because praise may be tied to performance, reputation, promotion, or how colleagues see your contribution.

If your boss tells you a report was excellent, “Thank you. I spent quite a bit of time getting the analysis right, so I appreciate that” is confident without turning into self-promotion.

If a coworker praises your presentation, you can keep it even simpler: “Thanks. I’m really glad it was useful.”

If someone praises a team result, acknowledge both your role and theirs: “Thank you. I’m proud of what we pulled together. Everyone put a lot into it.”

And when a client compliments your work, “Thank you. I’m really glad you’re happy with the result” often does everything you need.

This is also where automatic softeners can sneak in. People sometimes begin perfectly reasonable responses with “sorry,” “just,” or a disclaimer they didn’t need. There are situations where an apology is appropriate, of course. In other conversations, these alternatives to automatically saying “sorry” can help you keep the sentence direct.

What If You Don’t Agree With the Compliment?

You don’t have to suddenly agree with someone else’s assessment of you.

Imagine that you finish a presentation and someone says:

“That was fantastic.”

You’re thinking about the answer you stumbled over, the slide you skipped, and three things you’d change if you could do it again.

You don’t have to reply, “Yes, I was fantastic.”

You can say:

“Thank you. I really appreciate you saying that.”

Or:

“Thank you. I was nervous about it, so I’m glad it came across well.”

Or, if you want to be honest about your own reaction:

“Thanks. There are a couple of things I’d change next time, but I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

You’re accepting their reaction without pretending it has to replace your own.

I think this was one of the things I had to learn myself. Receiving a compliment doesn’t require proving that the person is objectively correct. I can appreciate what they said without turning the next minute into an argument about whether I deserved it.

Why Do Some People Hesitate When They Receive a Compliment?

There can be many reasons, and I don’t want to reduce them all to confidence or self-esteem. Maybe the praise is unexpected. Maybe you’re uncomfortable being the center of attention. Maybe you genuinely don’t agree. Maybe you grew up around people who routinely brushed off compliments. Maybe you’re worried that accepting one too readily will sound conceited.

Or, like my friend two days ago, perhaps it’s the person giving the compliment who surprises you.

She hadn’t been expecting that kind of comment from someone who hadn’t spoken to her that way before. A couple of seconds of hesitation was basically a natural reaction in this situation.

If you know that your automatic reaction is to minimize praise, those few seconds can actually be useful.

Instead of rushing into “No, no…” or “It wasn’t really…”, wait long enough to decide what you actually want to say.

Quite often, “Thank you” will be the whole answer.

What If the “Compliment” Makes You Uncomfortable?

I know there are situations where an unwanted personal remark can be disguised in a compliment – and that is something I think anyone dislikes. You don’t owe a warm thank-you for a sexual comment, an intrusive observation, manipulative flattery, a backhanded remark, or something inappropriate at work.

You can redirect the conversation:

“I’d rather stay with the project.”

You can be direct:

“I’d rather you didn’t comment on that.”

Or you can leave the topic entirely. If the conversation has moved somewhere you don’t want it to go, knowing how to change the subject without being rude can make those moments easier to handle.

If the comment crosses into a personal question you don’t want to answer, these ways to respond to intrusive questions are useful too.

Compliment Etiquette Isn’t Identical Everywhere

Culture, language, age, relationship, and context can all affect how people give and receive compliments.

A 2026 study published in the Journal of Pragmatics looked at Chinese young adults’ evaluations of different compliment responses. In that group, accepting responses were generally judged as more appropriate, less conceited, and more likely to leave a good impression than deflecting or rejecting responses.

The researchers also found that people’s judgments varied according to the topic of the compliment and the reasons they believed were behind the response.

So the wording in this article is best treated as a practical default for everyday American-English interactions rather than a script everyone in every culture should follow.

A compliment from your best friend, your boss, someone you’ve just met, and a stranger can also feel very different even when they use exactly the same words.

Conclusion

I still think receiving a compliment should be one of the pleasant parts of a conversation. Someone noticed something they liked, appreciated, or admired and decided to tell you.

We can make that moment surprisingly complicated.

The 2026 research gives us a useful reason to pay attention to the instinct to brush praise away. Across four studies, people who deflected compliments were consistently rated as less warm, less competent, and less likable. Deflection didn’t reliably make them look more humble, and in the final study it even affected whether people wanted to choose them as future work partners.

Another set of experiments found that a sincere compliment in return can increase rapport and improve impressions, although reciprocal praise can also sound a little less honest when it feels automatic.

For me, the useful part isn’t learning a perfect sentence for every possible compliment.

It’s much simpler.

When someone says something nice, I can receive it before I start explaining it away.

And quite often, “thank you” really is enough.

Quick Guide: What to Say Instead of Deflecting a Compliment

Frequently Asked Questions About Responding to Compliments

What is the best way to respond to a compliment?

A simple “thank you” is a good default. You can also add a little context, acknowledge your effort, share credit with someone else, or return a sincere compliment. Try not to follow your thank-you with a sentence that immediately dismisses the praise.

How do you accept a compliment without sounding arrogant?

Accepting a compliment doesn’t require agreeing that you’re extraordinary. “Thank you,” “I appreciate that,” or “I’m glad you liked it” accepts what the other person said without bragging.

What should I say instead of “It was nothing”?

You could say, “Thank you. I appreciate that,” “I’m glad it helped,” “Thank you. I put a lot into it,” or “Thanks, I’m happy with how it turned out.” All of these acknowledge the compliment without turning the response into self-promotion.

Why do people deflect compliments?

People may be trying to appear modest, feel uncomfortable with attention, disagree with the praise, be surprised by it, or simply repeat a response they’ve used for years. There isn’t one reason behind every deflected compliment.

Does deflecting a compliment make you look humble?

Not consistently. In the 2026 research by Emily Prinsloo and Alice Moon, deflecting had mixed effects on perceived humility. In different studies it increased, decreased, or made no difference to how humble someone appeared. Deflectors were consistently rated as less warm, less competent, and less likable.

Is saying “thank you” enough when someone compliments you?

Yes. You don’t need to add anything after a sincere thank-you. Research published in 2026 also found that returning a compliment can increase rapport and improve impressions, but there’s no need to invent praise simply because someone complimented you first.

Should you compliment someone back after they compliment you?

You can if you genuinely have something positive to say. A 2026 study found that reciprocal compliments produced more favorable impressions than simple appreciation because they signaled rapport. They were also perceived as somewhat less honest, which is a good reason to avoid a return compliment that feels forced.

How should you respond to a compliment at work?

Accept the praise directly and add context when it’s useful. “Thank you. I put a lot into that report, so I appreciate you noticing” works when the praise is about your own contribution. For a team achievement, you could say, “Thank you. I’m proud of what we accomplished. Everyone put a lot into it.”

How do you share credit without deflecting a compliment?

Accept your own contribution before mentioning other people’s work. Instead of “I didn’t do anything; it was all the team,” try “Thank you. I’m proud of the result, and Alex and Maya contributed a lot too.”

What should you say when you don’t agree with a compliment?

You can acknowledge the other person’s reaction without claiming you agree with every word. “Thank you. I appreciate you saying that” is enough. If you want, you can add honest context, such as, “I was nervous about it, so I’m glad it came across well.”

Violeta Loredana

Violeta-Loredana Pascal is a communications expert, business mentor, and the founder of Earth’s Attractions and PRwave INTERNATIONAL. A pioneer in the Romanian digital PR landscape since 2005, she holds a degree in Communication and Social Sciences from SNSPA Bucharest. Violeta is a senior trainer at AcademiadeAfaceri.ro, where she leverages over 20 years of experience to teach professional courses in PR strategy and workplace productivity. By blending high-level business consulting with a passion for holistic travel and wellness, she empowers solopreneurs to overcome procrastination, build profitable brands, and design a life of purposeful adventure.